Well, the treat for me is, I am officially 96 hours into My Quit. Four more hours and, 100 hours - smoke free-breathing free. (Update: I want to apologize here. At this point, I wasn't into 96 hours as this was only early Monday morning. This was roughly afer 72 hours.)
I was checking out some sites earlier and I have come to the conclusion that some people have made helping folks to Quit, a hustle. That unnerves me. I don't begrudge anyone to make a buck, but come on.
I'm not sure if anyone is reading the blog at this point, but if there are folks out there, who are seeking support, if you can help it, don't pay for it. Think about it; you didn't pay for someone to help you get the addiction, did you?
Find a support site, if that is what you need, that offers great information for FREE.
This is what I will do, as a part of my updates, I will post links to sites that I find are free and helpful.
I remember back in the day when Rehabs popped up all over the place. After a while it appeared to me, that these places really weren't helping folks. They were revolving doors. How can you claim to help a person with an addiction, by releasing them right back into the environment from which they came?
That reminds me of some of these websites. Especially with the ADS. Come one people, either you're gonna help folks Stay Quit, or you're gonna loop them back into smoking -- You can't do both.
Anyhoo, I am sleepy. Tomorrow is a new day.
Till Next Time
Peace & Smokelessness
Won
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Are We Addicted, To Being Addicted?
5:00 PM: I was thinking. "Is it possible that everyone, is addicted to something?" Regardless of its outcome in our lives, is there something that controls our freedom - or controls our drive?
Have we been turned into mindless zombies, just being lead by our nostrils to whatever it is we're attracted to, addicted to, or driven by?
Everything to numb our senses, and distract us, is at our finger tips these days.
The more I sit and analyze the way things are, the more appealing detaching from desire sounds to me.
I mean, LOOK at us. Does anyone have any will power to stop whatever it is that they're doing, that brings them comfort at the price of their health?
How in the HELL did we get here?!? At what point did it become okay, to drink a mini- bucket of soda?? At what point, did it become okay, to eat twice the portion of food we used to eat?? Do we HAVE to SuperSize everything??
My Grandma has been known to say that, "Every generation gets weaker and wiser." I believe her for the simple fact that, it appears that we have been made weak by the virtue of the way we live. Think about it, when is the last time you got up, to turn the channel on the TV? Not in the last fifteen years, right?
I'm gonna stop because I'm starting to rant and rave. I said I would remain cool. I'm a little antsy and prickly. I purposefully kept quiet and to myself today. This is my fight. No one else's. No one deserves the short end of this stick. I will be mindful of how I speak to people today. I will be conscious of my body language. I will be cognizant of my breathing.
I wonder is this the Spazz Out Phase of the Quit. I don't remember reading about that part. HA!!!!
There is something definately different about this Quit. I haven't put my finger on it, but there is something about it that just feels different. Maybe it will come to me later. Much later.
Peace & Smokelessness.
Yours in SmokeFreeNess
Won
Have we been turned into mindless zombies, just being lead by our nostrils to whatever it is we're attracted to, addicted to, or driven by?
Everything to numb our senses, and distract us, is at our finger tips these days.
The more I sit and analyze the way things are, the more appealing detaching from desire sounds to me.
I mean, LOOK at us. Does anyone have any will power to stop whatever it is that they're doing, that brings them comfort at the price of their health?
How in the HELL did we get here?!? At what point did it become okay, to drink a mini- bucket of soda?? At what point, did it become okay, to eat twice the portion of food we used to eat?? Do we HAVE to SuperSize everything??
My Grandma has been known to say that, "Every generation gets weaker and wiser." I believe her for the simple fact that, it appears that we have been made weak by the virtue of the way we live. Think about it, when is the last time you got up, to turn the channel on the TV? Not in the last fifteen years, right?
I'm gonna stop because I'm starting to rant and rave. I said I would remain cool. I'm a little antsy and prickly. I purposefully kept quiet and to myself today. This is my fight. No one else's. No one deserves the short end of this stick. I will be mindful of how I speak to people today. I will be conscious of my body language. I will be cognizant of my breathing.
I wonder is this the Spazz Out Phase of the Quit. I don't remember reading about that part. HA!!!!
There is something definately different about this Quit. I haven't put my finger on it, but there is something about it that just feels different. Maybe it will come to me later. Much later.
Peace & Smokelessness.
Yours in SmokeFreeNess
Won
Update: Sunday, my Funday... :o)
Woke up this morning on my own. No alarm clock. I just opened my eyes. Felt great. No urge when I woke up.
While my chest doesn't hurt per se, I feel a loosening of mucus in my chest. It's like, I'm clearing my throat a lot.
There is so much air going up my nose. It's making me light headed at times.
My nasal passages are congested and I have a slight headache. I feel like blowing my nose all the time, even though there is nothing up there. I hear my nostrils popping on the inside. I sound nasally when I talk.
The sun is so bright. It's wonderful. Especially after yesterday. Snow, rain, snow, and then rain again. And it's not even December?!? See, we do it to ourselves. We are the ones pushing time faster. Who the hell shops for the Christmas Tree with the Jack-O-Lantern? Ugh!
Please people, let's allow our seasons to have their own time! I remember having Indian Summer, enjoying the fall, even though fall and winter are not my favorite months. I even remember enjoying going out into the snow.
I don't enjoy any of it now because I don't get a chance to enjoy it. It's here and gone before you know it. Sheesh!
Anyhoo-back to me and the withdrawal. I am going to go through a tough time when I start visiting certain groups of friends. They still smoke. In fact, I will be the only person who doesn't smoke. My plan is, when they all start to light up, I will go outside. If it gets really bad, I will just leave. Not in a huff, mind you. I will extend parting salutations and just exit - stage right.
This is My Quit-not theirs. I think it's rude for a Non or Ex-Smoker to expect a Smoker to make adjustments for them, when the Non-Ex Smoker is in the home of the Smoker.
I was thinking about what to tell people, when it dawns on them that I am not smoking. I will simply tell them the truth. "I am not smoking today." And that is my truth. I can't control tomorrow. However I do have control over my addiction in this moment, so let me speak from this point in time. "I have not smoked today, I am not smoking right now."
Let's be clear. There are some people who want to see us slip once we quit, if for no other reason than they enjoy our company. In the back of their minds, they're going, "He/She is gonna slip - they won't Stay Quit." And if we do slip, that person will be right there with open arms, saying, "I knew you couldn't last - I knew you couldn't hold out."
By saying, "I have not smoked today, I am not smoking now," takes the pressure off of tomorrow.
Truthfully, I am afraid that I will smoke again. I know right now that I don't want to. One of the reasons I don't want to smoke is that I don't want to go back to square one with My Quit. I don't want to feel the sting of the nicotine coursing through my veins, filling my head and bringing me down.
I want to feel like I feel now. Less controlled by nicotine. Maybe it's still controlling me by my very need to write about it. Maybe I'm trying to write, my addiction out of my life. That's not so bad. Because every story has an ending. <------ Ya'll remember who said that first, okay? -- I feel like I just had a moment of clarity..lololol.
Anyhoooooo -- TTYL
Yours in Smokelessness
Won
While my chest doesn't hurt per se, I feel a loosening of mucus in my chest. It's like, I'm clearing my throat a lot.
There is so much air going up my nose. It's making me light headed at times.
My nasal passages are congested and I have a slight headache. I feel like blowing my nose all the time, even though there is nothing up there. I hear my nostrils popping on the inside. I sound nasally when I talk.
The sun is so bright. It's wonderful. Especially after yesterday. Snow, rain, snow, and then rain again. And it's not even December?!? See, we do it to ourselves. We are the ones pushing time faster. Who the hell shops for the Christmas Tree with the Jack-O-Lantern? Ugh!
Please people, let's allow our seasons to have their own time! I remember having Indian Summer, enjoying the fall, even though fall and winter are not my favorite months. I even remember enjoying going out into the snow.
I don't enjoy any of it now because I don't get a chance to enjoy it. It's here and gone before you know it. Sheesh!
Anyhoo-back to me and the withdrawal. I am going to go through a tough time when I start visiting certain groups of friends. They still smoke. In fact, I will be the only person who doesn't smoke. My plan is, when they all start to light up, I will go outside. If it gets really bad, I will just leave. Not in a huff, mind you. I will extend parting salutations and just exit - stage right.
This is My Quit-not theirs. I think it's rude for a Non or Ex-Smoker to expect a Smoker to make adjustments for them, when the Non-Ex Smoker is in the home of the Smoker.
I was thinking about what to tell people, when it dawns on them that I am not smoking. I will simply tell them the truth. "I am not smoking today." And that is my truth. I can't control tomorrow. However I do have control over my addiction in this moment, so let me speak from this point in time. "I have not smoked today, I am not smoking right now."
Let's be clear. There are some people who want to see us slip once we quit, if for no other reason than they enjoy our company. In the back of their minds, they're going, "He/She is gonna slip - they won't Stay Quit." And if we do slip, that person will be right there with open arms, saying, "I knew you couldn't last - I knew you couldn't hold out."
By saying, "I have not smoked today, I am not smoking now," takes the pressure off of tomorrow.
Truthfully, I am afraid that I will smoke again. I know right now that I don't want to. One of the reasons I don't want to smoke is that I don't want to go back to square one with My Quit. I don't want to feel the sting of the nicotine coursing through my veins, filling my head and bringing me down.
I want to feel like I feel now. Less controlled by nicotine. Maybe it's still controlling me by my very need to write about it. Maybe I'm trying to write, my addiction out of my life. That's not so bad. Because every story has an ending. <------ Ya'll remember who said that first, okay? -- I feel like I just had a moment of clarity..lololol.
Anyhoooooo -- TTYL
Yours in Smokelessness
Won
OKAY!! This is why I shouldn't blog at 3:00ish in the morning. I was under the impression that I sent the post. As we now see, I did not.
3:11 AM: I am passed the 72 hour mark. According to a few articles, it's the 72 hour mark that is the hardest. We'll see. I've been relatively stress free this weekend. It's been quiet for the most part. I do notice though that I am still on auto-pilot when I am doing some lengthy reading. Or in the middle of a project.
I am yawning a lot. (Could it be that it's ermmm 3:19 in the morning, genius?) Hmm..lololol...could be.
I wanted to share some thoughts on this addiction piece and the mind f%$^ that accompanies it. I don't appreciate the marketing twist to get folks to buy a program for smoking cessation by making claims that they can make quitting easy.
If it were that easy to quit, more folks would have done it by now.
Such a vicious cycle it is. In order to quit, some folks use a patch or gum. I'm not saying anything is wrong with the folks who use those tools. I'm saying that it's a funky trap that keeps folks stuck in a cycle of quitting and relapsing.
Perfect example of the Hegelian dialectic. They create the problem, which in this case, is the addiction. Then they come along with the solution, or easier way to quit (which just happens to contain nicotine). What sense does it make to treat the addiction with the very thing that's harming the individual. Please don't misunderstand, I get that folks want to wean off, however, to me, that is just prolonging the inevitable, thus making it much harder to quit.
That's all I have to say right now because, my eyelids are dropping. And I do not want to start typing a bunch of gibberish..lol.
Till Next Time...
Waughndaye Wonstep Attatyme
3:11 AM: I am passed the 72 hour mark. According to a few articles, it's the 72 hour mark that is the hardest. We'll see. I've been relatively stress free this weekend. It's been quiet for the most part. I do notice though that I am still on auto-pilot when I am doing some lengthy reading. Or in the middle of a project.
I am yawning a lot. (Could it be that it's ermmm 3:19 in the morning, genius?) Hmm..lololol...could be.
I wanted to share some thoughts on this addiction piece and the mind f%$^ that accompanies it. I don't appreciate the marketing twist to get folks to buy a program for smoking cessation by making claims that they can make quitting easy.
If it were that easy to quit, more folks would have done it by now.
Such a vicious cycle it is. In order to quit, some folks use a patch or gum. I'm not saying anything is wrong with the folks who use those tools. I'm saying that it's a funky trap that keeps folks stuck in a cycle of quitting and relapsing.
Perfect example of the Hegelian dialectic. They create the problem, which in this case, is the addiction. Then they come along with the solution, or easier way to quit (which just happens to contain nicotine). What sense does it make to treat the addiction with the very thing that's harming the individual. Please don't misunderstand, I get that folks want to wean off, however, to me, that is just prolonging the inevitable, thus making it much harder to quit.
That's all I have to say right now because, my eyelids are dropping. And I do not want to start typing a bunch of gibberish..lol.
Till Next Time...
Waughndaye Wonstep Attatyme
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Update: 60 HOURS!! :o) not to be confused with 60 Minutes!!
I feel so happy this afternoon. I haven't been outside yet.
A friend of mine who smokes, gave me a call. While I was talking to her, the urge was like on auto pilot. Before I realized it, I had reached for, where my cigs would be. There was nothing there but a bottle of water and a bowl of mints.
I pulled my hand back, and shook my head as I realized that I hadn't even thought about what I was doing. It just happened. This is what I meant the other day about being more resolute in my actions. I have to do a better job at being aware of my actions on auto-pilot. I can't have that. Auto-pilot will make me crash and burn.
I am so not in the mood to fail. Every time I feel a withdrawal tweak, and how short it is becoming, it's making me aware that whatever it is, that makes me want to smoke, is dying. I'm happy it's dying.
I like giving myself options or breathing room with goals. With My Quit, failure is not one of them.
I have some thoughts about the ability to quit, how I started in the first place, how many times I have quit, and the mind *f#$% that is involved with the addiction in the first place.
Alrighty...I'm off until later on.
Enjoy your day
Yours in Smokelessness
Won
A friend of mine who smokes, gave me a call. While I was talking to her, the urge was like on auto pilot. Before I realized it, I had reached for, where my cigs would be. There was nothing there but a bottle of water and a bowl of mints.
I pulled my hand back, and shook my head as I realized that I hadn't even thought about what I was doing. It just happened. This is what I meant the other day about being more resolute in my actions. I have to do a better job at being aware of my actions on auto-pilot. I can't have that. Auto-pilot will make me crash and burn.
I am so not in the mood to fail. Every time I feel a withdrawal tweak, and how short it is becoming, it's making me aware that whatever it is, that makes me want to smoke, is dying. I'm happy it's dying.
I like giving myself options or breathing room with goals. With My Quit, failure is not one of them.
I have some thoughts about the ability to quit, how I started in the first place, how many times I have quit, and the mind *f#$% that is involved with the addiction in the first place.
Alrighty...I'm off until later on.
Enjoy your day
Yours in Smokelessness
Won
Update: 48 Hours ... and not the TV Show.
I am feeling much better than I did earlier today. I had a really good time with the family. There was so much laughter, it never occurred to me that I hadn't smoked all evening, until I took a sip of wine. I did just fine. The thought that I put in my mind was, if I smoke now, I will certainly throw up. That nicotine will hit my tummy and that won't be a good look. :o)
No one even noticed that I hadn't smoked. I guess that's because I really wasn't a big smoker in the first place, maybe that's why no one said anything.
Dinner was so good.
When I felt the pang, I closed my eyes, relaxed my shoulders and just took a few deep breaths and remembered why I am now a NON-SMOKER.
I've decided to refocus my perception of the withdrawal feeling. Instead of thinking, "I want a cig." I will now think of it in terms of my body taking over and the addiction dying a painful death.
Here's something interesting that crossed my mind today. It's a no-brainer, but it negates the thought that we "need/have to have" cigs. The thought that came to me was, "We weren't born smoking or with a cigarette in hand." So, it's not something that we HAVE to have. It's just something we're addicted to.
I'm still itching. Not as much as I was yesterday or earlier today. It's a good thing.
I am staying focused on the bigger picture. I am taking my life back from this addiction because that is all it really is. It's not fun, it's not helping me, it's not loving me, it's not my friend, it's not chilling me out, it's not putting money in my pockets, it's not giving me advice, it's not helping me pick out cute outfits or shoes; it's not doing anything but keeping me addicted.
I am in no mood to be addicted to, or fanatical about, a damn thing.
I am going to say my mantras, do some reading, and drift off to La-La Land.
Yours in Smoke-Less-Ness
Won
No one even noticed that I hadn't smoked. I guess that's because I really wasn't a big smoker in the first place, maybe that's why no one said anything.
Dinner was so good.
When I felt the pang, I closed my eyes, relaxed my shoulders and just took a few deep breaths and remembered why I am now a NON-SMOKER.
I've decided to refocus my perception of the withdrawal feeling. Instead of thinking, "I want a cig." I will now think of it in terms of my body taking over and the addiction dying a painful death.
Here's something interesting that crossed my mind today. It's a no-brainer, but it negates the thought that we "need/have to have" cigs. The thought that came to me was, "We weren't born smoking or with a cigarette in hand." So, it's not something that we HAVE to have. It's just something we're addicted to.
I'm still itching. Not as much as I was yesterday or earlier today. It's a good thing.
I am staying focused on the bigger picture. I am taking my life back from this addiction because that is all it really is. It's not fun, it's not helping me, it's not loving me, it's not my friend, it's not chilling me out, it's not putting money in my pockets, it's not giving me advice, it's not helping me pick out cute outfits or shoes; it's not doing anything but keeping me addicted.
I am in no mood to be addicted to, or fanatical about, a damn thing.
I am going to say my mantras, do some reading, and drift off to La-La Land.
Yours in Smoke-Less-Ness
Won
Friday, October 28, 2011
Update: So Close...So Close....
4:03 PM Okay so, I get my car back from my friend earlier today. A few days ago, a friend had a family emergency. He asked to borrow my car and I said, "No problem."
I get in my car, place my purse on the passenger seat floor and what do I see?
My frigging portable, smoke sucking, car ashtray. Wait. It gets better. With a cig standing up in the hole!!!!
Oh, for Jesus' Sake?!?!
Did I panic??? Oh hell yes, I did!!!
Did I want to smoke that cig? Yes!
Did I smoke that cig? No!!
Was it easy to ignore that cigg until I got to a public trashcan? Hell, no!!
But dammit, I did it.
I know I should be proud of myself for not smoking, but I'm not. I'm upset because
I panicked. I gotta be stronger than that, more firm and resolute in my actions, because this will not be the last time I see a cigarette alone.
The other reason I got upset at seeing that cig, because I was fine prior to seeing it. I hadn't had an urge to smoke other than the one this morning.
The other day, when I removed all of my triggers, I forgot about the car because
it wasn't with me. Ughh! And since I haven't told anyone about My Quit,
I didn't have a second pair of eyes watching out for me.
See, I know if I smoke a cig right now, I will feel that nicotine re-enter my body. I will feel it in my head, my arms, my chest, my face, my skin. I will feel it all over. I don't want to feel that because it means I have failed and then I will have to start all over again at day one. HELL NO! Not gonna do that to myself.
I also went to the supermarket looking for a cupcake. As soon as I realized what I was doing, I walked the hell out. I don't feel like trading one addiction for another. I just don't feel like being addicted to anything anymore. Everything in Moderation - except nicotine and other stuff that I shouldn't have.
I am about to go to Family Night. Let me make sure I have all that I need.
Tick Tacs - Check
Red Hots - Check
Bottled Water - Check
Gum - Gotta go to the store.
Nerves of Steel - Nope. lol.
I'm gonna go enjoy my family. Hopefully no one notices that I am not smoking. That way, I won't be pressed to answer any questions.
TTYL
Yours in SmokeFreeness
Won
I get in my car, place my purse on the passenger seat floor and what do I see?
My frigging portable, smoke sucking, car ashtray. Wait. It gets better. With a cig standing up in the hole!!!!
Oh, for Jesus' Sake?!?!
Did I panic??? Oh hell yes, I did!!!
Did I want to smoke that cig? Yes!
Did I smoke that cig? No!!
Was it easy to ignore that cigg until I got to a public trashcan? Hell, no!!
But dammit, I did it.
I know I should be proud of myself for not smoking, but I'm not. I'm upset because
I panicked. I gotta be stronger than that, more firm and resolute in my actions, because this will not be the last time I see a cigarette alone.
The other reason I got upset at seeing that cig, because I was fine prior to seeing it. I hadn't had an urge to smoke other than the one this morning.
The other day, when I removed all of my triggers, I forgot about the car because
it wasn't with me. Ughh! And since I haven't told anyone about My Quit,
I didn't have a second pair of eyes watching out for me.
See, I know if I smoke a cig right now, I will feel that nicotine re-enter my body. I will feel it in my head, my arms, my chest, my face, my skin. I will feel it all over. I don't want to feel that because it means I have failed and then I will have to start all over again at day one. HELL NO! Not gonna do that to myself.
I also went to the supermarket looking for a cupcake. As soon as I realized what I was doing, I walked the hell out. I don't feel like trading one addiction for another. I just don't feel like being addicted to anything anymore. Everything in Moderation - except nicotine and other stuff that I shouldn't have.
I am about to go to Family Night. Let me make sure I have all that I need.
Tick Tacs - Check
Red Hots - Check
Bottled Water - Check
Gum - Gotta go to the store.
Nerves of Steel - Nope. lol.
I'm gonna go enjoy my family. Hopefully no one notices that I am not smoking. That way, I won't be pressed to answer any questions.
TTYL
Yours in SmokeFreeness
Won
Update: Day 2, Moving Forward
I slept so deep last night. It was a peaceful, restful sleep. When I woke up this morning, it was simply by opening my eyes and not being jarred by the clock.
The first urge hit me this morning when I woke up, but I quickly grabbed some water. The water helped with the first morning urge.
My nostrils felt less funky this morning. Hit the Neti Pot again. I was cool until I had an interaction this morning. I was a bit snappy, prickly, short, when asked, what I perceived was a repeat question. If a person asks me a question, and I give them an answer, for all that is good and green in the world, please don't ask me the same question again in an hour. I'm not being mean, here. All I am saying is, if I took the time to look you squarely in the eye and respond to your question, take the time to value the answer. But then again, it's not them - It's me. I am snappy, prickly, and short.
I got some breakfast, threw one little Red Hot (the cinnamon candy) in my mouth after breakfast. That helped with the after meal urge.
I'm still itching. I did some research and found out there is a legitimate reason for it. So for all of you, who are like, "She journals, but she doesn't bathe (sticking my tongue out) Just kidding!!
I love to laugh and have fun, even through rough spots. To me, it helps to add value to life when you can have a genuine love for yourself and for your life, and the people who love you unconditionally and in peace.
It is Friday and it's getting colder outside. It will be November in a minute.
I don't smoke, so I will be able to wear mittens!!! HA!! Imagine THAT!
TTYL
Yours in Smokelessness
Won.
The first urge hit me this morning when I woke up, but I quickly grabbed some water. The water helped with the first morning urge.
My nostrils felt less funky this morning. Hit the Neti Pot again. I was cool until I had an interaction this morning. I was a bit snappy, prickly, short, when asked, what I perceived was a repeat question. If a person asks me a question, and I give them an answer, for all that is good and green in the world, please don't ask me the same question again in an hour. I'm not being mean, here. All I am saying is, if I took the time to look you squarely in the eye and respond to your question, take the time to value the answer. But then again, it's not them - It's me. I am snappy, prickly, and short.
I got some breakfast, threw one little Red Hot (the cinnamon candy) in my mouth after breakfast. That helped with the after meal urge.
I'm still itching. I did some research and found out there is a legitimate reason for it. So for all of you, who are like, "She journals, but she doesn't bathe (sticking my tongue out) Just kidding!!
I love to laugh and have fun, even through rough spots. To me, it helps to add value to life when you can have a genuine love for yourself and for your life, and the people who love you unconditionally and in peace.
It is Friday and it's getting colder outside. It will be November in a minute.
I don't smoke, so I will be able to wear mittens!!! HA!! Imagine THAT!
TTYL
Yours in Smokelessness
Won.
Update: 1Day Down.
It's 12:54 AM, October 28th, 2011. I have 25 hours under my belt. I feel quirky, agitated, irritated, itchy, (I gotta do some research and discover what that's about.) out of sorts, and I'm getting the chills. I'm not cold so, I'm not sure where they are coming from. I sound stuffy. From what I remember there is something called the Quitters Flu? or Quitters Cold? Whatever it's called, folks who quit get this weird nasal passage thingie going on. I've had it before. It's not fun.
But check this out, out of all of that, I feel good. I really can't explain it.
I'm going to do my mantra's and I am going to bed. I'm actually sleepy.
Yours in Smokefreeness
Wonstep Attatyme
But check this out, out of all of that, I feel good. I really can't explain it.
I'm going to do my mantra's and I am going to bed. I'm actually sleepy.
Yours in Smokefreeness
Wonstep Attatyme
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Update: First Day, After Lunch & Beyond
2:24 PM: Just realized something. I don't like the taste of food on my tongue, after I've eaten. I just noticed that a peppermint and deep breathing achieves the same feeling as if I had smoked a cigg. Cool.
5:28 PM: Is it me or do we sometimes just want folks to shut up. I mean really. Folks who repeat stuff, over and over, get on my nerve. Relax, breathe, concentrate, it's not them. It's me - I'm prickly right now.
7:45 PM: These cherry tomatoes are so good. The butter milk ranch dressing makes them even more special. They say with the withdrawal pang, you either have to feed it or smoke it. I'd rather eat - not a bunch of mess, mind you.
8:04 PM: Gonna go play some video games to do something with my hands.
9:54 PM: Played some video games..lol. Had to find something to do with these hands. My mouth is all watery..lol. In roughly 2 hours I will have completed one whole day with out nicotene. Don't break out the band just yet. Tomorrow will be a bit of a challenge. We're having family night and I am not going to tell anyone in my family. No one on this side of my family smokes so, there will be no temptation. When I've announced a Quit Plan in the past, it has had the opposite affect. Instead of support, I get the, "You shouldn't have been smoking anyway," speech. But who the hell wants to hear that when you already know it? Not me, that's for sure.
Don't get me wrong, my family is ultra cool, very nice, super supportive. But at times? Whew!
So, tomorrow night I am gonna play it cool, like a cucumber.
Will be back around 12:00 or so, before I call it a night.
Yours in Smokelessness
Won
5:28 PM: Is it me or do we sometimes just want folks to shut up. I mean really. Folks who repeat stuff, over and over, get on my nerve. Relax, breathe, concentrate, it's not them. It's me - I'm prickly right now.
7:45 PM: These cherry tomatoes are so good. The butter milk ranch dressing makes them even more special. They say with the withdrawal pang, you either have to feed it or smoke it. I'd rather eat - not a bunch of mess, mind you.
8:04 PM: Gonna go play some video games to do something with my hands.
9:54 PM: Played some video games..lol. Had to find something to do with these hands. My mouth is all watery..lol. In roughly 2 hours I will have completed one whole day with out nicotene. Don't break out the band just yet. Tomorrow will be a bit of a challenge. We're having family night and I am not going to tell anyone in my family. No one on this side of my family smokes so, there will be no temptation. When I've announced a Quit Plan in the past, it has had the opposite affect. Instead of support, I get the, "You shouldn't have been smoking anyway," speech. But who the hell wants to hear that when you already know it? Not me, that's for sure.
Don't get me wrong, my family is ultra cool, very nice, super supportive. But at times? Whew!
So, tomorrow night I am gonna play it cool, like a cucumber.
Will be back around 12:00 or so, before I call it a night.
Yours in Smokelessness
Won
Official Quit Time: 12:01 AM: Update: In The Middle of Day One.
Oooo weee...I'm here. It's been since 12:01 AM that I haven't smoked a cigarette.
It's almost 12:00 PM my time.
My nostrils felt funky on the inside, and my head felt a little woozy this morning - Neti Pot to the rescue!! YAY!!
For those of you who are unfamiliar with a Neti Pot, it's a device used to clean out your nasal passages. Just Google, "Neti Pot" to get a visual.
There are no cigarettes or remnants of ciggs around me. Triggers are gone. I replaced the ashtray with a candy dish full of those puffy mints and Werthers Originals. I really like those. I have several bottles of water around me at arms length.
In my purse, I have some Red Hots. For some reason, that hot cinnamony taste does something for me, in terms of quelling the urge. What's the science behind that, if there is any? lol
I was doing something earlier and the urge to smoke came out of nowhere. It's like, the urge waits until you are really engrossed, to creep up and catch you off guard.
Well, I grabbed some water. Sipped it. Took a deep cleansing breath. The urge lingered for a bit, but it left me.
I also feel itchy. I wonder what that's about. Yes, I showered this morning..lololol.
I think I am afraid to eat. I always smoke after I eat. I think I'll just have smaller portions so I don't get that "full" feeling which is the trigger.
One thing for sure, quitting requires that you know ever aspect of your habit in order to break it.
I may check back in, and type some more later on.
My tummy is growling - it's lunch time.
Yours in Smokefreeness,
Won
It's almost 12:00 PM my time.
My nostrils felt funky on the inside, and my head felt a little woozy this morning - Neti Pot to the rescue!! YAY!!
For those of you who are unfamiliar with a Neti Pot, it's a device used to clean out your nasal passages. Just Google, "Neti Pot" to get a visual.
There are no cigarettes or remnants of ciggs around me. Triggers are gone. I replaced the ashtray with a candy dish full of those puffy mints and Werthers Originals. I really like those. I have several bottles of water around me at arms length.
In my purse, I have some Red Hots. For some reason, that hot cinnamony taste does something for me, in terms of quelling the urge. What's the science behind that, if there is any? lol
I was doing something earlier and the urge to smoke came out of nowhere. It's like, the urge waits until you are really engrossed, to creep up and catch you off guard.
Well, I grabbed some water. Sipped it. Took a deep cleansing breath. The urge lingered for a bit, but it left me.
I also feel itchy. I wonder what that's about. Yes, I showered this morning..lololol.
I think I am afraid to eat. I always smoke after I eat. I think I'll just have smaller portions so I don't get that "full" feeling which is the trigger.
One thing for sure, quitting requires that you know ever aspect of your habit in order to break it.
I may check back in, and type some more later on.
My tummy is growling - it's lunch time.
Yours in Smokefreeness,
Won
Day One (Or Night One) My Quit: The Journey Begins....
Well, here I am. It's October 26th, 2011, and I am smoking my last cigarrette.
October 27th, 2011, is My Official Quit Date.
Three weeks ago, I set this date for a special reason that I won't get into, but it's a special day for me, and no, I'm not a Scorpio..lol. (Circa 1970-"What's your sign, Baby?)..lol.
The truth is, I'm tired of smoking. I just don't want to do it anymore. It doesn't feel good to me.
I've decided to journal My Quit, hoping that it may help someone or, if anyone has decided to quit recently, they can come along for the ride, because truthfully, it works better with support. Hey, we can be like "OccupySmokeFree!!" lolol. (Absolutely no disrespect to the movement, whatsoever!)
I've quit before, for five years to be exact. (Well, why in the hell did you start again, woman?) I'm glad you asked. I had several very traumatic situations occur, during a relatively short span of time involving deaths, and my coping skills just packed up and split. They were like, "Uhm..we'll catch you on the flip side Babe," and I went to what I knew best to calm my nerves; Smoking. I may talk about what happened (or I may not) in the months to come, as I now have some distance between me and what occured.
I just looked up on the tool bar. Great! This thing has spell-check..lol.
Anyway, I like I said before, I am tired of it. Tired of the way I feel afterward; Tired of my heart racing after the rush; Tired of being tired after I climb the steps; Tired of going to the store just to get them; Hell, I'm just sick and tired, of being sick and tired, of smokin'!! HA!!!
I'm in a good mood right now. I'm really looking forward to being smoke-free. I enjoyed being smoke free. I developed a quit plan. Things to do when the urge slaps me upside the back of the neck, because it will.
I recently started to chant NAM-MYOHO-RENGE-KYO because I noticed that I feel calm, grounded, and centered after about five minutes of continual chanting. I even purchased prayer beads to have something in my hands. Nope, I'm not a Buddhist, but who knows where this will lead.
I've decided to embrace the withdrawal pangs, and take it second by second. The truth is, they don't last forever, but whew!! lol.
My thought is, seconds lead to minutes, minutes lead to hours, hours lead to days, days lead to weeks, weeks lead to months, and months? Well we all know what months lead to, Christmas in August at the department stores. (Don'tcha just hate that?)
I have no intention of disrespecting or pointing the finger at folks who still smoke. I didn't do it the last time I quit. I realize, as an ex-smoker, that quitting is a very personal decision. No matter how many times well intentioned friends and family say little cute things about quitting, or warn smokers about the health risks, folks who smoke can and will only stop when they are truly ready. And that has to come from a deeper place within.
This Quit is on another level for me. I've visualized my behavior smoke free. This is for the rest of my life. I've meditated on it for the last few weeks and I've prayed about it, because I know it's gonna be rough and I don't want to fail. I've thought about how I started smoking again and I have things in place to help me cope with stuff that just may pop up.
Folks have always been shocked when they find out I smoke. They say, "You don't look like a smoker." Naturally I ask, "Well what the heck does a smoker look like?" lololol. I never get a response, just a confused puppy type look with a grin. With prayer, patience, and committment, I won't have to hear that anymore.
As I type, I'm listening to the song, "Alright" by Ledisi. The lyrics are very real for me. The song gives me strength-touches my Spirit. My Quit is a part of a bigger picture for me. You see, the person I am becoming, doesn't smoke. That person has no place in my life.
I just put out my last cigarette. I'm finished.
How ironic, "Everything Is Gonna Be Alright" by Sounds of Blackness, just came on the internet station I'm listening to.
My journey starts now.
October 27th, 2011, is My Official Quit Date.
Three weeks ago, I set this date for a special reason that I won't get into, but it's a special day for me, and no, I'm not a Scorpio..lol. (Circa 1970-"What's your sign, Baby?)..lol.
The truth is, I'm tired of smoking. I just don't want to do it anymore. It doesn't feel good to me.
I've decided to journal My Quit, hoping that it may help someone or, if anyone has decided to quit recently, they can come along for the ride, because truthfully, it works better with support. Hey, we can be like "OccupySmokeFree!!" lolol. (Absolutely no disrespect to the movement, whatsoever!)
I've quit before, for five years to be exact. (Well, why in the hell did you start again, woman?) I'm glad you asked. I had several very traumatic situations occur, during a relatively short span of time involving deaths, and my coping skills just packed up and split. They were like, "Uhm..we'll catch you on the flip side Babe," and I went to what I knew best to calm my nerves; Smoking. I may talk about what happened (or I may not) in the months to come, as I now have some distance between me and what occured.
I just looked up on the tool bar. Great! This thing has spell-check..lol.
Anyway, I like I said before, I am tired of it. Tired of the way I feel afterward; Tired of my heart racing after the rush; Tired of being tired after I climb the steps; Tired of going to the store just to get them; Hell, I'm just sick and tired, of being sick and tired, of smokin'!! HA!!!
I'm in a good mood right now. I'm really looking forward to being smoke-free. I enjoyed being smoke free. I developed a quit plan. Things to do when the urge slaps me upside the back of the neck, because it will.
I recently started to chant NAM-MYOHO-RENGE-KYO because I noticed that I feel calm, grounded, and centered after about five minutes of continual chanting. I even purchased prayer beads to have something in my hands. Nope, I'm not a Buddhist, but who knows where this will lead.
I've decided to embrace the withdrawal pangs, and take it second by second. The truth is, they don't last forever, but whew!! lol.
My thought is, seconds lead to minutes, minutes lead to hours, hours lead to days, days lead to weeks, weeks lead to months, and months? Well we all know what months lead to, Christmas in August at the department stores. (Don'tcha just hate that?)
I have no intention of disrespecting or pointing the finger at folks who still smoke. I didn't do it the last time I quit. I realize, as an ex-smoker, that quitting is a very personal decision. No matter how many times well intentioned friends and family say little cute things about quitting, or warn smokers about the health risks, folks who smoke can and will only stop when they are truly ready. And that has to come from a deeper place within.
This Quit is on another level for me. I've visualized my behavior smoke free. This is for the rest of my life. I've meditated on it for the last few weeks and I've prayed about it, because I know it's gonna be rough and I don't want to fail. I've thought about how I started smoking again and I have things in place to help me cope with stuff that just may pop up.
Folks have always been shocked when they find out I smoke. They say, "You don't look like a smoker." Naturally I ask, "Well what the heck does a smoker look like?" lololol. I never get a response, just a confused puppy type look with a grin. With prayer, patience, and committment, I won't have to hear that anymore.
As I type, I'm listening to the song, "Alright" by Ledisi. The lyrics are very real for me. The song gives me strength-touches my Spirit. My Quit is a part of a bigger picture for me. You see, the person I am becoming, doesn't smoke. That person has no place in my life.
I just put out my last cigarette. I'm finished.
How ironic, "Everything Is Gonna Be Alright" by Sounds of Blackness, just came on the internet station I'm listening to.
My journey starts now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)