"What A Difference 10 Years Makes, 87,600 Little Hours...😄."

IT'S MY 10 YEAR QUITAVERSARAAAAY!!!
Woooooo-yeah, Baby!!!👄

💗😁🙏😜😝😄

Thank you to the God of my Understanding for letting me see this day!!

Ten years!! Wow!!

I remember how I felt 10 years ago today. I was anxious, I was excited, I was irritable, I was ready to face the pain.  I knew above it all that I wanted to Quit and stay Quit!! It was my one desire and I was willing to do just about anything to make it happen.

I think it's like my Grammy has always told me, "You have to want it bad enough." 

I guess I wanted it bad enough and then some. 

Was it easy? Absolutely not. 

Was it fun? Yes, at times.

Over the years, I have wondered about my Quit Group ROCKTOBERS'11. At the time, About.com had a Quit Smoking Group that was super supportive. It was after I had spent some time in the group, that I decided to journal my experience. The journaling made such a huge impact on my Quit. The fact that I was writing about it, I believe made it real, and made it manifest.  I would actually recommend it if you are early in your QUIT, to start journaling your Quit Experience. It's not going to be the same for everyone and it may even help you process out some other things. I know it helped me to understand and work through some very difficult aspects of my life. 

The most important thing I want to make sure this  Blog does is support someone who is in their Quit, to STAY QUIT. 

Remember Beloveds, you have to want it for you, not anyone else.

You also have to believe it to the point that you can see what you look like as a non-smoker.

If you think that you can't do it, guess what? You won't.

However, if you're ready and you want it,  GO FOR IT!!

If you want to laugh, just start at the beginning of this blog. October 27, 2011.

It may provide you with the insight to begin your own Quit Journey.

I know you can do it.

Until Next Time, Stay Strong Beloveds

Hugs, Love, and Healing Energy to the World
(For Those Who Are Open to Receive It.)

One Human Love

Obi

Knowing others is intelligence; Knowing yourself is true wisdom."
"Mastering others is strength; Mastering yourself is true power.

”Lao Tzu ~ The Tao Te Ching

MQM:CT MQD:10.27.2011:12:01:AM QBG:PROUD MEMBER, "ROCKTOBERS '11 !!"

Peace, Love, & Freedom to My Rocktober Family where-ever in the world you may be.
To Everyone thinking about Quitting and to those early on in their Quit, take it one day at a time, my lovelies!!

 You CAN do it!!

"We're Bringin' Smokeless Baaack!"

(to Justin Timberlake's, SexyBack..)

 "SEXY" & NicoFree" 

"Not One Puff Evah, Baby!!!"

Nobody's Fool

I pray with all my being that everyone who has been following this blog has been well.

I hope that your journey to being smokeless has been uneventful and fun.

I just wanted to come on and talk about an AD campaign that is really pissing me off.
\
It's for this vaping thing called JUUL (and you can add any other vaping tool, as well).

While they post a huge sign on the video that says that the device contains nicotine, the way commercial is marketed, just pulls my chain.

The way the actors communicate the story, is as if vaping is better than smoking.

"She/He made the switch." Switch from what? Jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire? From bad to worse?

Don't be anybody's fool, My Beloveds. Please hear me when I say to you that;

"VAPING IS NOT BETTER THAN SMOKING!"

These commercials are very crafty the way they present the product. These products still contain nicotine. Nicotine is the substance that has you hooked. 

Beloveds, I know that it's hard in the very beginning to QUIT. Quitting in the beginning feels insurmountable. It feels like you're about to step off a ledge. But you know what? I am living proof that you can get passed it. 

If you're new to your QUIT journey, go back to the very beginning of this blog and follow my posts. 

It's not easy, but it is worth it.

Until Next Time, Stay Strong Beloveds

Hugs, Love, and Healing Energy to the World
(For Those Who Are Open to Receive It.)

One Human Love

Obi

Knowing others is intelligence; Knowing yourself is true wisdom."
"Mastering others is strength; Mastering yourself is true power.

”Lao Tzu ~ The Tao Te Ching

MQM:CT MQD:10.27.2011:12:01:AM QBG:PROUD MEMBER, "ROCKTOBERS '11 !!"

Peace, Love, & Freedom to My Rocktober Family where-ever in the world you may be.
To Everyone thinking about Quitting and to those early on in their Quit, take it one day at a time, my lovelies!!

 You CAN do it!!

"We're Bringin' Smokeless Baaack!"

(to Justin Timberlake's, SexyBack..)

 "SEXY" & NicoFree" 

"Not One Puff Evah, Baby!!!"

The Meaning of Bitter Sweet....I'm Six Years Quit!!

So,  for those who have been following the Blog since the beginning, you know that today is the first year of my REAL QUIT!!

My sixth year quit, is actually my first time being quit for more than five years during a QUIT.

While I feel totally awesome about my accomplishment, I am equally saddened and broken hearted.

I’m not sure what cruel joke fate has on my life, but as some of you may remember, as I approached my first year quit in 2012, a member of my family passed away from breast cancer.

It was devastating.

The irony here is, as I approached my sixth year quit, another one of my loved ones was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer back in June of this year.

I don’t want to make this about me, but I can’t help but wonder why this is happening again.

I thank the God of my Understanding that I haven’t been triggered to smoke as a coping mechanism. It hasn't even been tempting and it never crossed my mind.

I’m still practicing yoga five times a week. It truly has changed my outlook on life and it has helped me with my perspective on many things.

I want to once again, share with anyone who is reading this and who is trying to quit; you can do this. You have to do it for you, not anyone else. Not because you hear folks ragging on you to quit, but because you really want to do it for yourself.

Guess what? You may fall off the wagon a few times. That’s alright. What you’ve actually learned is how to recognize another trigger. Once you understand what makes you smoke, you can create new coping skills to avoid those things, as best you can, which make you want smoke.

I can’t reiterate enough that your quit has to be about YOU.  Don’t let anyone dictate your quit or judge how you’re doing.

If it takes you one try, three or ten, YOU CAN DO IT!! 

Blogging actually helped me during my first year to exorcise some of the stress I was going through at the time.

It's important to have a support system for those things in life that we sometimes, just can't handle alone. It's okay to ask for help.

Just like with a Quit. Sometimes you need a support team to help you. I did. At the time, About.com had a Smoking Cessation Board. I met the most AWESOME people there.

I pray that wherever they are in the world, that they are doing better than well.

If you would like some suggestions, go back to the beginning and read through my first year.

I'm sleepy now. I've been crying for most of the morning, thinking about my loved one and all that she is going through.

If you're reading this and you care to, please pray for my loved one and our family.

Until Next Time, Stay Strong Beloveds

Hugs, Love, and Healing Energy to the World
(For Those Who Are Open to Receive It.)

One Human Love

Obi

Knowing others is intelligence; Knowing yourself is true wisdom."
"Mastering others is strength; Mastering yourself is true power.

”Lao Tzu ~ The Tao Te Ching

MQM:CT MQD:10.27.2011:12:01:AM QBG:PROUD MEMBER, "ROCKTOBERS '11 !!"

Peace, Love, & Freedom to My Rocktober Family where-ever in the world you may be.
To Everyone thinking about Quitting and to those early on in their Quit, take it one day at a time, my lovelies!!

QQ You CAN do it!!

"We're Bringin' Smokeless Baaack!"

(to Justin Timberlake's, SexyBack..)

 "SEXY" & NicoFree" 

"Not One Puff Evah, Baby!!!"

Beyond Five - The Move to Six Years Smoke Free

Wow!!

Well whatdayaknow? Five years later and thanks be to the The God of my Understanding, I am still Smoke Free.

I really wish I could explain the joy I feel today. I am thankful moreso than proud of my journey.

Life is constantly changing and sometimes, what occurs can bring us to our knees.

When I look back on this day, I remember how afraid yet determined I was.

When I encounter challenges now, I employ the same strategy that I utilized five years ago.

I plan, I visualize, I strategize, and I go for it.

Who knew five years ago, that I would be practicing Yoga four times a week.

I don't want to give anyone the idea that my life is perfect. It's not. It's far from perfect.  I am just happy to be where I am and who I am becoming. I owe that to my decision to stop smoking. The journey taught me how strong I was despite the many challenges that came my way during my first year journey.

I do want to give everyone who wants to quit, the idea that if you really WANT to, you too can QUIT if you figure out that this is coming from deep inside. I do want to encourage you to at least to start thinking about what you want for your life, especially if that means you want to be a QUITTER like me.

I want to Shout Out my Rocktober's 11 Family. We all quit together in 2011.  If you're reading this, please know that I miss you all so much and I think of everyone especially in the Spring and especially during our Anniversary.

Please know that these wonderful folks played a HUGE part in my recovery and my ability to maintain my QUIT. I miss the comradery.

As I've written before, I have QUIT for five years before. I am excited about staying Quit after five years. Tomorrow will be my first day of my test to stay QUIT for six years, which is something I have never done since I started and QUIT.

Onward and Upward.

Remember. I am certain, that if YOU want to, YOU CAN DO THIS.

Go to Day 1 on this blog (October 27 2011), which is five years ago, and read for your self. Laugh-Cry-Enjoy what you read. I really want to Pay It Forward to everyone who needs it.

Until Next Time-Stay Strong

Hugs, Love, and Healing Energy to the World
(For Those Who Are Open to Receive It.)

One Human Love

Obi

Knowing others is intelligence; Knowing yourself is true wisdom."
"Mastering others is strength; Mastering yourself is true power.

”Lao Tzu ~ The Tao Te Ching
MQM:CT MQD:10.27.2011:12:01:AM QBG:PROUD MEMBER, "ROCKTOBERS '11 !!"

Peace, Love, & Freedom to My Rocktober Family where-ever in the world you may be.
To Everyone thinking about Quitting and to those early on in their Quit, take it one day at a time, my lovelies!!

QQ You CAN do it!!

"We're Bringin' Smokeless Baaack!"

(to Justin Timberlake's, SexyBack..)

 "SEXY & NicoFree" 

"Not One Puff Evah, Baby!!!"

Four Years Ago....

What?

It's been four years?

Yes.

It's been four years since I made that first post putting myself on notice that I QUIT POISONING my body. Sometimes I go read my first blog and recall how afraid but determined I was. 

Over the years I have hoped and prayed that this blog has helped someone to at least start the process of at least visualizing themselves as a QUITTER!!!

If you're still on the fence about QUITTING that's cool. Push on to see yourself as a person who doesn't need to poison yourself to feel wonderful.

Humbled to the God of my Understanding for giving me the courage and determination to stay right where in this place of freedom from nicotine.

You can do it if you want to. Remember that!

On to year five - This my loves will be the real test.

One Human Love
Obi

Knowing others is intelligence; Knowing yourself is true wisdom."
"Mastering others is strength; Mastering yourself is true power.

”Lao Tzu ~ The Tao Te Ching
MQM:CT MQD:10.27.2011:12:01:AM QBG:PROUD MEMBER, "ROCKTOBERS '11 !!"

Peace, Love, & Freedom to My Rocktober Family where-ever in the world you may be.
To Everyone thinking about Quitting and to those early on in their Quit, take it one day at a time, my lovelies!!

QQ You CAN do it!!

"We're Bringin' Smokeless Baaack!"

(to Justin Timberlake's, SexyBack..)

 "SEXY & NicoFree" 

"Not One Puff Evah, Baby!!!"

THREE YEARS FREE...Wooohooo!!!

Okay. It's Nov. 4th Election Day in the States. I'm feeling great. Still Smoke Free and Sexy. I am definitely going to get my VOTE ON, today!! **giggling**

Haven't Blogged in a while. I think I should more often. I didn't know folks were still reading the Blog. How cool is THAT???? For anyone who is just coming aboard, "Hey!! How ya doin'?"

I think the best way to gain as much as you can is to start at the beginning, on October 27, 2011.

Well let's see, I celebrated a serious milestone last Monday. "I AM THREE YEARS SMOKE FREE, BABY!! Wooohoo!!"  I am lovin' every single moment of my Smokelessness!

Although,  I am pleased as punch, humbled, and feeling blessed by the entire experience,  I will really be impressed when I get passed five years Smoke Free. See, as you may know from previous entries,  I Quit before for five years and fell back into bad habits.

This go round is different because I dealt with the issues (Loss & Separation) that were associated with my nicotine addiction.

Would you believe that three years out, I'm still learning about staying Smoke Free? While I don't experience withdrawal symptoms anymore, it is still so very important to stay vigilant.

If you are new on your Quit Journey, Welcome!!
If you have relapsed from your Quit Journey, Welcome!! And guess what? If you are sittin' up there sayin' "I ain't gonna quit!" Guess what, "Welcome to you too!!" Shoot!! We all need a little love and support!! Ahahaha!!

It's a little after 5:00 AM. I'm takin' all this Smokeless Sexyness back to sleep.

MUCH LOVE TO MY ROCKTOBERS FAMILY WHERE EVER YOU ARE IN THE WORLD.

SENDING POSITIVE LOVE, LIGHT, and ENCOURAGEMENT TO ALL WHO WILL RECEIVE IT!!

TILL NEXT TIME, ONE HUMAN LOVE!!

OBI.

11 Months & Nothing to Celebrate.....

Today is September 27th. It is my 11th Month Quit. I should be happy and ecstatic, but I am not. I have been pondering as to whether I should even continue the blog.

I am not in a happy or peaceful place and I'm not sure how I am going to find the spirit to motivate folks to not smoke, when I, myself, don't feel motivated to consistently stay Quit? I mean, I have not smoked but, my God, the temptation is on me like a coat.

Early in September, a few days after my last entry,  my Loved One who had stage four breast cancer, succumbed to the disease. I have so much anger and sadness. I have so many different emotions running through me at this time. I am trying to keep perspective because at this point, this entry is so not about me and my Quit. I mean, it may be, it just doesn't feel like it.

The reason why I'm not sure about continuing the blog is that, my focus for the time being, is diminished. Here's my issue; I feel guilty about working through my trigger, which is separation and loss, yet losing my loved one to cancer. I know that sounds so incredibly stupid. It's just how I feel.

I remember standing over her when we went to preview her body the day before the funeral. I asked myself, "What was the point of quitting?" Here lies my relative in this coffin, who never smoked anything, gone from breast cancer. I could not make sense of what happened. I felt guilty for living. My loved one never did anything to get breast cancer, yet she is gone.

As I said, this is so not about me and my Quit. I'm not even happy that I dealt with the separation and loss trigger and didn't smoke. I wanted to smoke. I wanted it so bad. I want it now as I am typing this. The issue is, I just can't bring myself to smoke.

Want to hear something else even more stupid? In some way, I felt as though I was tempting fate by admitting my trigger to the world, because in the end, it felt like some twist of fate, put the trigger right in front of me to deal with, with one of my own family members!

I do not want anyone who is reading this to use what I am sharing to justify smoking. That isn't the point of this entry. The point of this entry is to be candid and share what I am feeling and to some degree, how I am dealing with it.

I'm angry because I feel that all the money that is collected on these Breast Cancer marathons and walks should have funded a cure by now, but it hasn't. I've read an article that even says that some of the fundraisers for Breast Cancer don't even turn over a considerable amount of money to Breast Cancer research.

My family member fought so hard, so hard. I can't believe that she is gone. It hurts so much. She was only in her early fifties. She had so much to live for. I know I am not the only person who has been touched by this, and won't be the last. It's just so devastating to watch over time. It's devastating to see your loved one in so much pain, yet try to keep hope that something can be done, and know that life is ending.

How the hell do you wake up every day, knowing that your life is truly about to end...not metaphorically, but LITERALLY?!?! and have the courage to keep going???

How the hell do you deal with the fact that you did everything the doctors asked you do to from the mastectomy to the repeated chemo and radiation and YOU STILL END UP DYING?? How the F*ck do you DEAL WITH THAT???

I am so so so so so angry. I miss my loved one. I will miss her for the rest of my life.

Somebody out there, please pray for me and my family. We are small group and this was a major blow to our family unit.

I'm gonna stop now because the tears are building and I just can't keep this up.

Major Healing Energy and Love to anyone dealing with any type of cancer. Major Healing Energy and Love to the families supporting those dealing with any types of cancer.

Much healing love to the world (for all those who are willing to receive it.)

Peace.

Obi.

Reflections in the Sun........

So, I go hang out in NYC this past weekend, which is one of my favorite places in the world to be. I wanted to visit with friends, just hang out, do a little personal celebrating because of a special day, and of course, shopping. :o)

We're having a good time and a friend says to me, "You're really uptight". I ignore her and think to myself, "Compared to what?" The weekend goes on and she makes another reference to me needing to relax. She then says, "You need to smoke a cigarette."

I didn't respond to the comment. While I know it was said in jest, I also thought it was a bone-headed, careless thing to say, considering she knew that I had quit smoking 8 (in a few days) months ago. I mean, I would never tell a former coke addict, "You need to snort a line," or tell a recovering alcoholic, "Damn, you're uptight, you need to take a drink."

Would YOU do that? I didn't think so!!

It tells me that people really don't take nicotine addiction seriously. They think, "Oh, you can stop any time you want to," thus you can pick it up at a moments notice and then drop it.

WRONG, WRONG, DAMMIT WRONG!!

People like me, who are addicted to nicotine, cannot just stop and start at random. That isn't how it works.  Just because nicotine isn't cocaine, marijuana, heroine, alcohol, pills, etc., does not mean it's any less addictive OR dangerous.

People die from smoking. Does anyone get that? Or better still, does anyone really give a rats patootey, that people are dying needless deaths from nicotine addiction.

If and when I am in this person's company again, I will respond to her by saying, "Just like you need to stop _______________" I'll fill in the blank when the time comes.

See, here's the thing; I'm not careless with my recovery and damn it, no one else will be careless with it either.

I did not come this far in My Quit, with the help of family, friends, and the wonderful folk who send well wishes via email, the blog, and My Rocktober Family, to let some person, who was careless with her words, throw me for a loop.

Hell No, We Won't Go (back to smoking)!!!

HELL NO, WE WON'T GO!!! :o)

Why, you ask? Well...because.....

"We're Bringin' Smokeless Back!! Those folks still smokin' don't know how to act!! Take it to the bridge!!"

Remember, I may not post every day, but I am here, fighting the good fight, right along with you to STAY QUIT One Day At A Time!

One Love to my Rocktober Family, where-ever in the world you may be.

One Huge Hug filled with Love and Forgiveness to the World
(for those who are willing to accept it.)

Obi  :o)

MAY THE FOURTH, BE WITH YOU...... :o)

Whelp, here we are. It's May 4th, 2012 and I am six months free from nicotine (QD 10-27-2011).

Where in the heck did the time go?  I can still remember typing the first post and exactly how I felt, while typing it. I am so thankful to the God of my understanding and so many people who have
been a huge support, either by sending emails or joining the blog. I truly, truly, appreciate it.

April 27th was a very special day for me, outside of my 6th month anniversary. No, I'm not a Taurus,
so it's not my birthday. October 27th and April 27th are crucial dates for me. Let's just say, those
dates represent what is best in me.

I want to share something with the folks who are thinking about quitting and whom are visualizing themselves as an Ex-Smoker.  Keep thinking and visualizing how you look and how you are as an Ex Smoker.  Eventually, it will happen.  You will get the courage to quit. And what's better is, you will try. That was a major part of my Quitting process. Seeing ME as an Ex Smoker.

You have a HUMAN RIGHT to be nicotine free.

You weren't born with it, nor did you rely on it as a child to sustain you.

If you're reading this for the first time and you want to Quit, go back a few months and see the posts that will show in detail, what route I took to Quit. I am not saying you have to do the same. I am however, strongly suggesting that you develop a plan that you can stick to, and go with it. Wait..and modify it if you have to.

Now, for those who are hanging in there - Guess what? One of the challenges I had, has been resolved. YAY Whewhooo!! The only interesting thing is that, because I have changed my environment, and introduced new faces to my daily situation, new stresses have arisen and I have craved a cig. Did I give in? NOPE.

"Obi, why didn't you just get a ci g to take the edge off? No one would have known."

WRONG!! I would have known. I don't want to give folks the impression that I am this super holier than thou, politically correct, ball-breaking ethics and morality Queen. Nope. I'm not, that's not me.
It's just that, to break My Quit right now, would toss six months praying, planning, internal work, and practicing out the damn window. That just ain't gonna happen, not when I have so many resources to turn to.

Anyway, in regard to kicking the crave, I took a deep breath and realized what was going on, what caused the trigger, and worked my way through it (WAM TIT BIO LIP)

A few weeks ago, I saw a dear friend while I was out. I had not seen this gentleman in a very long time. He was always like an Uncle to me, so therefore when I saw him, arms went out for an embrace. Sounds wonderful, right?

Little did I know that this gentleman, had just smoked a cigarette. When I stepped away from the gentleman, my clothes were wreaking of the smell of stale cigarette.

I could tell I how far I've come, by my behavior. While I didn't act out, I was furious that my clothes smelled this way. Before I knew it, after my gentleman friend had walked away, I shared with another friend, a while later, that the reason I was frowning was that I had quit smoking back in October, and when folks who have just smoked, get too close to me, it makes me nauseous.

I want all of you who are still smoking to know, that if you really want to stop smoking, you will find a way to make it happen. It may feel frightening at first, but I am here to tell you, it does get easier as time passes.

Go a head, make pick a date a month from now, and stay committed to it. Start making a list of why you want to Quit. Keep it with you so you can add on to it, as revelations come to you.

Hold your head up high, knowing that you are working towards a special goal, for YOU.
Not anyone else.

Much Love to my Rocktober Family where ever in the world, you are.

Big Hugs to every and anyone on the path or about to step on the path, to Quitting

Despite what ou think, YOU CAN DO THIS...BELIEVE IN YOURSELF....AND MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU!!! :o)

Peace, Love, and Huge Hugs to the World (for all those who will receive it.)
Obi

I've Been Thinking...(Take Cover!!!)

I've been contemplating/reflecting upon The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism lately and smoking cessation. I just want to remind everybody that I am not a Buddhist. Not that I find anything wrong with Buddhism (clearly), I just don't want to lead folks to think that I am something that I am not, or that I have knowledge about a subject that I do not have. Also, please understand that I am not proselytizing Buddhism. I just seem to click with its precepts as it relates to my recovery and understanding myself and my addiction to nicotine.

Okay! Ready? Here we go!

The Four Noble Truths are;
There is suffering in this life.
The cause of suffering is attachment. ( my words; egoistic attachments to people/places/things viewed through/based upon an illusion.)
The way out of suffering is attainable.
The method to stop suffering is adherence to the Eightfold Path.

Okay, Obi. We got it. Now What?

It hit me that, as it relates to smoking, that we suffer needlessly because of our attachment to an illusion, that we attach to the thing we are addicted to. The other reason why we are suffering is because of someone else's attachment to greed (money). Remember when I was talking about folks who make money off of us? I'm talking about the same people, right here.

"WatchutalkinaboutObi?"

Well, watch this; we feel bad when we quit smoking, because of our mental/physical addiction/attachment to cigarettes. We are (mentally) attached to an illusion caused by advertising and influence/faulty thinking that leads us to believe that, not only do we need cigarettes, but that, it's damn near impossible to quit. (Which opens the door to cessation drugs, devices.)

We are attached to an illusion that we HAVE to HAVE ciggs because of advertising, easy access, and other external factors.

It is an illusion, that we HAVE to HAVE cigarettes because they keep us calm, by soothing us when weare upset and it keeps us company.

It is an illusion, that we cannot live without cigarettes because the nicotine literally toys with our brain, causing us to feel withdrawal, when we stop.

Think about this for a minute; We were not born with a necessity for smoking.

Now, I'm approaching this part very delicately, because I DO NOT want to offend anyone but, with the exception o individuals who were born addicted to a host of drugs (because of selfish, absent-minded mothers who refused to quit smoking while pregnant *rolling my eyes*), we were NOT born addicted to nicotine. So therefore, it stands to reason that the craving for nicotine, comes as a result of external influences. I doubt very, very, very seriously, that those of us who are ex-smokers, and those still smoking, woke up one day and said. "Oooo, it's such a sunny day outside...I think I will start smoking, because I really want to become addicted to nicotine (Happy Smile)." NOT!!

WE ex-smokers and those still smoking, started smoking to fill a void. The void could have been anything. It could have been acceptance/trying to fit in for example, looking cool with the kids who were smoking when we were younger. The void could have been solitude. The void could have even been, I need something to do with my hands or I need something to calm me down, or I want to get higher, let me smoke this cigarette. Either way, an illusion was involved in our starting and maintaining smoking.

The question I think we have to ask ourselves at some point is, "How do we kill the illusions that make us feel that we have voids in our lives, and if we do, how do we fill them, so that we don't try to fill them with artificial means again, in the future?"

When will we say, enough. "I am not going to suffer behind this anymore!!"

Honestly, that is for each person to decide on his/her own.

When you get a chance, do me a favor.  Sit down in a protected and quiet space, and after  you say this piece to yourself, meditate, reflect on it for a while.. "Right now, here in this moment, I acknowledge that I am whole, just as I am. I do not need  (fill in your dragon to slay) to complete me."

Please know that you are not alone in your quest to quit and/or to stay quit.

Like I shared in an earlier post, I may not post every day, but I am here - fighting right along with you, daily to Stay Quit.

Huge Gi-normous love to My Rocktober Family wherever in the world, you may be.

One Big Human Love,
(Throwing my arms around the world, to huggg everybody who will receive it.)
Obi.

Marchin' On....

As of March 27th I am five months in. Yay, me!! Yay to everyone celebrating a Quit  anniversary. Yay to everybody who has Quit, and to everyone who is thinking about Quitting.

Big Huggs for everybody..now pass the celery and the spinach dip. :o)

I tend to think of a lot of concepts at once which makes it appear that mymind is like a rollercoaster. In some ways, it is.  Please are with me. It's gonna seem like I'm all over the place, but I will get
to the bottom of what it is, that I'm sharing.

Do you ever get the feeling that you are the only one playing by the rules, that were taught to you, by your grandparents/parents/guardians, or the rules/ethics/morals that you established for yourself as you got older?

Now, I need to be clear. I'm not talking to the folks who have been taught destructive
rules which include hating other people for no good reason. This isn't that type of blog
and I'm not that type of person.

I'm also not talking about rules like, "Don't wear white after Labor Day or before Memorial Day,"
or, "Don't mix your peas with your mashed potatoes." *giggle*

Nope. I'm talking about the rules like, "Fairness; Being respectful to elders; Having patience with children; Don't date anyone your friend has ever dated;  Don't steal; Don't hurt folks feelings if you don't have to;  Being honest, without eing destructive; Looking out for your fellow human being; Being conscious of the earth and those who live on it.

Why is it that the people who are about destruction, hate, and chaos, seem to get away with whatever it is that they are doing? Is it me, or do they have some connect to the universe that permits them to do what they want, how they want, and to whom they want to do it?

I mean, take us for example. There are people who work for various companies who (subconsciously) rely on us to keep smoking. The way I see it, if we smoke, we contribute to the following and this is by no means, a complete list;
Smokers keep tobacco companies up and running.
Smokers help to keep conveniance stores open and folks behind the counter employed.
Smokers help to keep physicians employed, particularly cardiologist, ENT Specialists,
Smokers help to keep folks who create Smoking Cessation Programs and supplements employed.
Smokers help to keep the pharmaceutical companies employed.

Now pause for a second and think about this; These people have sat back, and developed a method for folks to become addicted to their product. They push the product in an underhanded way, left and right.  Folks who are still smoking  are paying their money, for these companies to kill them.
It's like putting a bounty on your own head, just waiting for the time when you are cut down.

These folks are counting on Smokers, to stay addicted. Why in the hell, should folks continue to smoke, to make thesevpeople comfortable? It's almost as if they are pimping out the body, counting on the addiction, to keep money in their pockets.

Whatever happened to, "Wow, I can't make that product.somebody might get hurt." I know times are hard and it's difficult to even suggest to folks that they refuse work when so many are unemployed, looking for work, and or currently suffering because they don't have an income or even a job prospect. It's a little difficult to work out ethics and morals when you're hungry or your children are starving. I get it. Trust me.

I just wonder what the hell happened to "I AM MY BROTHERS/SISTERS KEEPER"???

The ultimate message that I am trying to share is, "These people who are manipluating
addictions (no matter what it is) don't care about you or me in the least bit. It's time that
we stop the bullshit and get a grip on our sensibilities."  They are killing us with our help!!!

FOLKS WHO HAVE QUIT OR WHO ARE THINKING ABOUT QUITTING. YOU DID NOT AND WILL NOT LOSE A DAMN THING! YOU GAINED OR WILL GAIN,

YOUR INDEPENDENCE FROM PEOPLE WHO SIT BEHIND FANCY DESKS

 AND WANT TO KEEP YOU ADDICTED TO NICOTINE.

If we can't think of any other reason to quit or stay quit, let this be one...
"WE ARE NOT THEIR F*^%#)NG  CRASH TEST DUMMY PRODUCT WHORES!!!"

It's not okay, to produce a product, that kills people.

IT'S NOT OKAY!!!

Stepping down off of my Soap Box. Putting Soap Box in my big purse and taking a huge cleansing breath.

I apologize for the profanity. I am frustrated by what I see. It's as if humanity is on a decline. And it's not like aliens or animals are doing this to us....we are doing it to ourselves.

Much Love to My Rocktober Family....wherever you may be in the world.

Shout out to my Rocktober Family in Japan/China. *smiling & waving!!*

A Huge Huge Welcome to Scotty Caile, Olivia Justus, and Barjo!!
Thanks for coming along for the ride... :o)

Stay Strong, Stay Quit, Stay Empowered, Stay Encouraged
One Human Love,
Obi. :o)

Walkin' the Talk, of My "Peace" of Mind....

One of the things I find to be a challenge is applying what I have learned
or studied in order to sustain my inner peace, in a heated moment.
I still catch myself, when I am about to lose it.

Is this a left over from My Quit? Could be, but I doubt it. I have always
had a very short fuse with folks who are mean, nasty, and insensitive.

I don't think I have "arrived" where I want to be in terms of shutting off the
automatic response when I get upset/angry. Heck, I don't even think I'm
at the train station. lol.

I am however, very conscious of my behavior. I have everything else
under (perceived) control.  It's important for me to keep balance with all
things. If you knew what I did for a living, you'd laugh. Trust me.

You'd think that a lot of this comes second nature, but some of it doesn't. 
What I have found, thus far is, it's about seconds. It's about mindfulness
during those seconds when you are in a heated discussion or you feel you are
about to blow. You have to slow your time, down, or your perception of
time, It takes practice, but it can be done. I've done it.

"Why do you care? If someone says/does something mean or hurtful,
they deserve what you give them."

Nope. I don't think so. Not in all cases. And believe me, it's also
not about suppressing your feelings. Anybody who tells you that it is,
is full of fiddle faddle and malarkey.

See, here is my thought; "YOU CAN'T UNHEAR OR UNFEEL WORDS
ONCE THEY HAVE BEEN SPOKEN." To me, it's so much better to
manage your response than have to say, "I'm sorry," or "Forgive me," or
"I apologize for hurting your feelings."

It's not that I have an issue with apologizing. Nope. That's not it.It's just
that I feel (strongly) that sometimes, even with an apology, that first thrust
of pain, at hearing someone say something that rips you apart, can not be undone.
Not even by the most sincere apology will it go away. Somewhere in the
recesses of your mind, you will pull back that memory, when you least expect it, or
least need to relive it.

I think that our destiny is determined by our ability to control how we
respond in that split second that has the ability to change our lives
for good, or for not so good. To me, it boils down to our ability to
control our breath/breathing in the moment. The breath of life.
The breath is life. You can alter the course/direction of your life
by working with the breath.

Now, here's the deal. If you're still smoking..uhm..alright...nevermind.
I'm not gonna preach. I didn't like folks preaching to me when I was smoked.

"Well, how do you do this breathing thing, Obi?"

I can tell you how I have managed to do it a few times. Like I said, I'm
not there yet. But I am getting there, slowly but surely.

When I get upset, (which is really a feeling of loss of control or feeling
of being attacked), I feel my face tighten, my nose flare, my eyes squint,
the tops of my ears get hot, my mind focuses in real tight to find a
grammatically correct, "shuttem' down," kick ass retort, my heart-rate increases,
my tummy feels anxious, and through all of this, I have not taken a breath.
Seriously. It is the lack of breathing, that gets me/us, every single time.
Now you might thing this has taken about two or three minutes.

Nope. This happens in seconds.

The last time this happened to me, I became really aware of how tense my
body became and that I had stopped breathing. I stopped. Looked around me.
Took a breath. Blinked my eyes and thought of humming. All of this, happened
for me, in slow motion.  As I took the breath, I payed attention to my inner me.

I'm going to be very blunt here with what I said to myself. Nope, it's not pretty
and I do need to change it, to reflect a more peaceful resolution for working
through changing my automatic response. I smiled, and I said,
"F*%k you. You are not worth my peace," and I laughed (actually with a snort)
shook my head, and walked away.

I think, what has changed is that, it's not a fleeting, superficial, act for me
anymore. I mean it, when I say these affirmations to myself.
I need to re-work the phrase for a better fit. It's freeing for me as is, but it's also very toxic.
The other reason I need to re-work it, is that, we all have worth.
Just because we don't agree with someone or like them doesn't devalue their personhood.

Everybody on this earth, has worth to someone else, even if it's for a moment in time.

Anyhooo, I quit smoking four months ago, my lovelies. I am not going to replace one toxin for another. *wink*

Welcome to Rick Hubbard. Thanks for coming along for the ride!!! :o)

Sending Healing Love & Energy to my ROCKTOBER Family, where-ever in
the world, you may be. Also sending Healing Energy to all those who may have
just quit and to those whom are still smoking, but thinking about quitting.

I might not post every single day, but I am here for ya. Remember that, if you
should feel alone in your quest to Quit Smoking. :o)

One Human Love, For the World.
Obi :o)