Here Comes the Judge....

Yesterday, I heard from a buddy who I hadn’t heard from in a while. He was sharing an experience he had with me. He told me that he had fallen off the wagon with excessive spending.  As I read his email,   I felt this sense of heaviness, as read the words he was shared. After I returned salutations and updates, I sat with my thoughts for a while. I realized what the feeling was. The weight I felt was judgment. Through everything he shared, there was this feeling that because he had relapsed into excessive spending again, that somehow he wasn’t worthy, or that he wasn’t as good a person as he was when he had his spending under control.

As I thought longer, and after sending affirmations to my buddy, I began to consider the judgment that comes with being a smoker and then deciding to give it up.

My Lovelies I want to talk with you today about judgment.

People judge smokers by saying things like, “Kissing you would be like kissing an ashtray,” or “When are you gonna give up that nasty ass habit?” or what I used to get all the time, “Wow you don’t look like a smoker.”  Which would lead me to say, “Well what the hell does a smoker look like?” (Serious eye roll action)

As human beings, we are always judging something or someone. Even though it states in the Bible “Judge not, that ye not be judged,” we do it religiously. He’s too short or she’s too fat, or he looks broke, or she looks like a snob, did she graduate from an Ivy League school? We do it all the time.

As it relates to your Quit, don’t permit ANYONE to judge you and how you’re coming along. Don’t let anyone talk down to you, about how many years you smoked before you Quit. Don’t let anyone bully you into smoking again by saying things like, “Quitting is for cowards.” And don’t let anyone shame your Quit by saying things like, “Well damn, it took you long enough to Quit.” And should you relapse? Please, please, please, do not even bother staying around people who want to see you start smoking again, or the people who say dumb sh%t like, “Oh damn, I knew you weren’t gonna last long.” As a matter of fact, if anyone who says they care about you says that to you, DUMP THEM Quick, Fast, and In A Hurry.  That person does not truly care about you or your health.

And for goodness sake don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes, we can be our own worst judge and jury. We make up stories about who we are and we BELIEVE these stories and most times they aren’t even true or based on anything in reality.

This Quit is about YOU and no one else. Sure there are plenty of folks who will be here to help you, but at the end of the day, this is about how you want to live in the future. This is about your health. This is about stepping into that person you want to be. If that person you want to be, is a person who still smokes, then that person will move along as a smoker. But if that person is a non-smoker then he or she will have to embrace a new way of living as a non-smoker one day at a time.

It can be done My Lovelies.

Let no one stand in judgement of your journey – and that includes YOU!

Until next time-Stay Strong!!

Sending Hugs, Love, and Healing Energy to the World

(For those who are open to receive it.)

One Human Love
Obi

Knowing others is intelligence; Knowing yourself is true wisdom."
"Mastering others is strength; Mastering yourself is true power.

”Lao Tzu ~ The Tao Te Ching
MQM:CT MQD:10.27.2011:12:01:AM QBG:PROUD MEMBER, "ROCKTOBERS '11 !!"

 
Peace, Love, & Freedom to My Rocktober Family where-ever in the world you may be.
To Everyone thinking about Quitting and to those early on in their Quit, take it one day at a time, my lovelies!!

 

 You CAN do it!!

 

"We're Bringin' Smokeless Baaack!"

(to Justin Timberlake's, SexyBack..)

 "SEXY & NicoFree" 

"Not One Puff Evah, Baby!!!"

 

 

Just (Be) Cause....

Have you ever seen a commercial and all of a sudden you start thinking about something near and dear to your heart? Well my Lovelies, I saw a commercial that made me remember something.  

I wanted to talk about cause and effect with you.

Yeah. Cause and Effect. I remember when I smoked there was always  some, “thing,” that caused me to want to light up.  Somebody or something was always getting on my nerves. I needed to smoke to calm down, or because I ate, or I wanted to smoke just to be by myself and think.

When I look back over those times, rarely do I remember what the root and real cause of my discomfort was. I do however remember how I called myself handling the situations.

I share all of this to say that is any of what makes you smoke really worth it?

Let’s look at it this way;

1.      (Be) Cause: Somebody dinged your car + You get upset = You smoke.
2.      (Be) Cause:  Your S/O forgot to pay a bill and a utility got cut off + You get upset = You smoke
3.      (Be) Cause:  You’re hanging out with friends having a few cocktails + you’re feeling good = You smoke

Now watch this – The Effect is now you have a breathing problem, that is the result of your smoking.

Stay with me now.

1.      Because somebody dinged your car, you now have a problem breathing.
2.      Because your S/O didn’t pay a bill and a utility got cut off you now have a problem breathing.
3.      And because you were having cocktails and feeling no pain you now have a problem breathing.

You get the gist. None of that makes any sense but there was a cause, and there was an effect.

The other thing I want to share from this, is that at some point we have to (yeah this includes me even though I don’t smoke anymore) really examine our triggers, i.e., those emotions that cause us to be impulsive with how we react to what happens to us, and how fast we move to handle things that happen to us without first handling ourselves.

As a part of our staying Quit it’s very important that we get comfortable with examining our emotions and sit with them for as long as we can in order to help identify the root cause that needs to be healed or addressed.

See my Lovelies when we were babies and we (emotion) cried it wasn’t a cigarette that made us comfy when we were (cause) hungry. We got a bottle! Follow me? Most of us as children were able to get our emotional needs me without a cigarette. So that stands to reason that WHAT???

Let's say it all together now??!!!

"We can still even as adults get our emotional

needs met without smoking."

You know I never mentioned what commercial it was that I saw. It was the commercial where the woman died from smoking. The commercial reminded me of all of you out there. Doesn't matter where you are on your Quit journey. as long as you don't give up trying. No judgment. Helping my Lovelies who read this blog is what was near and dear to my heart.

Listen we all have to go but I don’t want to die that way and I don’t want my Lovelies to die that way either.

Because Baby, it’s just not SEXY!!!

And that’s what we want. To Be Smokeless & Sexy

Wooooo Hooo!!

Until next time-Stay Strong!!

Sending Hugs, Love, and Healing Energy to the World

(For those who are open to receive it.)

One Human Love
Obi

Knowing others is intelligence; Knowing yourself is true wisdom."
"Mastering others is strength; Mastering yourself is true power.

”Lao Tzu ~ The Tao Te Ching
MQM:CT MQD:10.27.2011:12:01:AM QBG:PROUD MEMBER, "ROCKTOBERS '11 !!"

 
Peace, Love, & Freedom to My Rocktober Family where-ever in the world you may be.
To Everyone thinking about Quitting and to those early on in their Quit, take it one day at a time, my lovelies!!

 

 You CAN do it!!

 

"We're Bringin' Smokeless Baaack!"

(to Justin Timberlake's, SexyBack..)

 "SEXY & NicoFree" 

"Not One Puff Evah, Baby!!!"

 

MAKING "HEAD"WAY

 

Everything we do, or don't do, starts in our heads. Everything.

 

What did you think this post was about?? Hmm?? FRESHY!!  Tsk, Tsk, Tsk!!!

 

The fact that I sat down and started typing on this blog, started in my head. No foolin'!!

 

I realized that I hadn't reached out in a while, and the thought lingered with my hamsters (pet name for my brain), a we bit longer than it should have. So, I did something about it. Hence the tap, tap, tap sound on the keyboard.

 

I wanted to reach out today to remind everyone that it's never too late to Quit. NEVER.

 

The reason why I share this, is that some people may get in their heads that since they've tried so many times, and not succeeded that it's not supposed to happen for them.

 

Guess what my Lovelies? I call BULLSH#T on that type of thinking.

 

At some point there has to be something inside you, that wants to Quit more than anything else.It doesn't have to be this monumental declaration of what you want to do. You can keep it to yourself.

 

You don't have to etch it in stone. All you have to do is decide. After you decide, then plan.

 

Plan your Quit in your head, and then start the process of actually planning it. Listen. If people can plan surgeries, cruises, weddings, and parties, YOU can plan your Quit.

 

There is an example of how to do this on this blog. Just go through the earlier posts and you will find it.

 

My Lovelies I wasn't always Quit. I did not get up one morning and BAM!! No more nicotine.  

It was a very painful process that I did not get over, but got THROUGH!

 

You and I aren't really that different. How do I know that? Darlin' if you cut me, I promise you, I will bleed. See? We're practically cousins!! I say all that to share, that if I can Quit and Stay Quit, I have faith that if you keep trying and don't give up on YOU, then eventually YOU will make it.

 

Until next time-Stay Strong!!

 

Hugs, Love, and Healing Energy to the World (for those who are
open to receive it.)
One Human Love

Obi

 

Peace, Love, & Freedom to My Rocktober Family where-ever in the world you may be.
To Everyone thinking about Quitting and to those early on in their Quit, take it one day at a time, my lovelies!!

 

You CAN do it!!

"We're Bringin' Smokeless Baaack!"

(to Justin Timberlake's, SexyBack..)

"SEXY & NicoFree" 

"Not One Puff Evah, Baby!!!"