been rough for me. A theme will come to me, I sit down to write, and something
on the national stage happens, that causes me to rethink the point of my
post and the words I want to use, and then I lose it. My emotions
get in the way, and I just go blank.
Now, would that be a writers block or writers cramp? lol.
It's odd that my emotions play a part in this seeing as I've been
accused in the past of, "living in my head." Guess they were wrong.
I respect the thought processes of those reading the blog. I do not want to waste folks
time with nonsense. I want to keep this blog honest, fresh, fun and releveant
to it's purpose and not fill it up with a bunch of useless B.S., so I'm careful
in that regard, with what I write.
The first thing that made me pause was, Iran and Isreal. Are these people insane?
I'm talking about both sides, not just one. Then it was the situation in Syria,
then those poor babies, being killed by their sick ass father, blowing up the
house, then Whitney Houston, then the icing on the cake, some person hits
my car, tares it up to be damned, and drives off without leaving a note.
You might ask, "What does that all have to do with Quitting Smoking?"
Once again, as I stated before in another post, its stress. Stress is a trigger.
"Why would you care about what's happening in Syria, you don't know those people?"
The folks in Syria, are human beings. Just like anyplace else in the world.
They deserve to be heard and treated with respect.
"Why would you care about what happened to those babies?
You didn't know them, they weren't your relatives?"
Again, it doesn't matter if I knew them!! Those were INNOCENT children.
For the record, in my personal book, anyone who harms children, elders,
animals, and folks who can't defend themselves, are pieces of SH%#.
"Why would you care about Whitney Houston? She had everything
and didn't know what to do with it."
Did she really have everything, if she was addicted? She clearly did
not have peace of mind. Part of what Whitney went through in life,
is what we who have issues with any type of addiction, go through every
day. The thought of relapse is a damned scary thing, especially when you kick ass
every day, to say, "F*^% No!," to whatever habit you're trying to kick.
Addiction isn't a joke, and over all isn't to be taken lightly. Addiction has shown that
it doesn't care about who you are, and how much money you have and how many people
love you.
I notice that after three months quit, my addiction to nicotine has taken a new seat.
It's in front of me. It's as if the addiction has said, "Okay, you've had your fun - now I'm
going to break you," and has pulled up one of those metal chairs, that you see
in Corrections facilities, with the green plastic cushion, and is sitting squarely
in front of me, leaning down on its elbows, looking me straight in the eye.
It's dressed in a suit and tie. In fact, my addiction looks like that guy, "Mayhem"
on the Allstate commercial, which is wierd because I think he's cute.
Anyway, here's the truth about how I feel. In my head, I am clear about not smoking.
I have not smoked and therefore I will not smoke. But for some strange reason, '
the automatic desire has reared it's head after going away.
So, we're gonna go back to basics. One second, one minute, one hour, one
day, at a time. Just One Day.
Some folks may be able to shrug off the stuff I listed, but for me,
it all just makes me think, really. It gives me reason to pause and examine
my own life. Not sure if anyone can understand this,but sometimes, when I hear about
war, injustice, and people being killed, even if its in a remote part of the world,
I get a pain in my stomach. It's like a dull ache. I become very sad for a
time, reflecting on the loss of life.
Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, and I don't know how I know this, but
we don't have to live this way, as a species. We don't have to kill each other.
There are enough resources to go around. It's just not neccessary for folks
to go hungry. It's not necessary for folks to be homeless.
It's not necessary for folks to be dying of diseases that are ultimately
started by behaviors that either could be avoided OR not introduced due to
people being placed in positions to survive any way they can.
It's not always necessary for somebody to lose, in order for someone else to win in
the passage of human life. Sure, there is a battle for survival going on
in the animal kingdom, and with micro-organisms. But dammit, come on!?
WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS!! WE KNOW BETTER BECAUSE OF HISTORY!?!?!
The inability to make sound choices in order to cope with the stresses of life
and living, are what opens the door to our addictions.
Our inability to control the behavior, once we have found pleasure in our coping tool, gives permission to our addictions to get comfortable and become a part of our lives.
We've GOT to stop letting the addiction of hatred and greed of a few,
have a seat at the table of humanity.
(Me, Obi -Feb 19th, 2012).
Love & Freedom to My Rocktober Family, Folks following the Blog, and anyone new to their Quit and folks who are still thinking about Quitting. If you take the step, I'll be here for you.
I'm gonna close by asking everybody to check the lyrics of this song. Heard it yesterday. Listened to it, as a youngster. I think you'll get the message.
One Human Love to Everyone & Plenty of Hugs,
Till Next Time...Obi.
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