So, I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, and something came to me.
When I smoked because I was stressed out about something, it didn't help me think.
Instead, it stopped me from thinking about the problem, to the point, I would stop dealing
with it for the time being.
The pleasure of the nicotine, calmed me down, and made me think of something else, so that I would end up avoiding whatever I was dealing with, until I could deal with it-or until I wanted to deal with it. Hmmmm.
It also stopped me from "feeling" my feelings, in addition to avoiding the thought process.
I think this is why lately, I have been feeling things more intently and reacting with purpose,
in my feelings. I don't have the cigs to run to, to smoke in order to, what did we call it, "clear my mind.." lol.
Ugh..I get it. My coping mechanism, which was my "Killing Mechanism," is gone.
When things get on my nerves now, I am dealing with it, head on, without a cushion.
Therefore, I need a new strategy to deal with stuff that gets on my nerves. Not a new avoidance
mechanism, but something that will help me focus in a little more. I want to deal with major stuff, like what happened to my car, more efficiently, so that I don't hold it in Don't misunderstand. I am very clear that this thing did not happen to me (Thank the God of my understanding). My car can be fixed.
The stress of other things are starting to take their toll on me. Even though I have been working towards changing those things, no result has come as of yet.
Not gonna give up though and I damn sure will not give in - I wasn't born to fail. I may trip and stumble. Hell, I might even fall flat on my face dammit, but get this; with support and prayer, I will get the hell up. I am a winner. And get this; so are you!
"How the hell do you know that, Obi? You don't know me!!"
Ah ha, my friend! I may not know you well enough to invite you to brunch, to a football game, or even to the grand opening of a can of beans, BUT the one thing that I do know about you is THIS; one of the many things we have in common is that, YOU and I both, were the tadpoles that beat the CRAP out of the other tadpoles to make to the womb ~ Umm hmmm..yes, Yes, YES!!....Hell Yeah!! (Doin' the Pee Wee Herman Dance) lolololol.
(cue Queen/Freddy Mercury(R.I.P., Freddy))Weeee Arrre the Champions My Frienddddsss...and
Weeee'll Keep on Fighting till the Ennddddd....!!!"
I'm raising a glass of (iced) Green Tea to my Rocktober Family, where-ever they may be in the world, and to the folks who are Staying Quit, and to the folks who haven't Quit yet, but whom are thinking about it. Come on, we're waiting for you, whenever you get ready, we'll be here!! :o)
One Human Love, with Big Huggs
Till next time, Obi.
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